jeninnyc

Rough day.

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 00:00:48 GMT

Alfie died last night. She lasted almost 17 years. I am heartbroken. Completely heartbroken.

bleh

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 22:05:12 GMT

Am bored. Which is the most amazing statement ever, considering that it is a Sunday in September. In the past, I would be doing homework. But no longer. I am all graduated now. which continues to be weird...although the weirdness is mostly a result of the complete LACK of what I feel should be weirdness. Explanation: for the first time in 17 years, I did not have to go to school the day after labor day. I have not had homework for the past 4 months. I go to work every day and come home and go to bed when I want and on the weekends I can lounge to my heart's content. So what is strange is that all of this doesn't FEEL strange. It feels perfectly natural and i LOVE it.

So anyway, I FINALLY started my job, three months AFTER it was supposed to start, but whatever. It is absolutely amazing. I have my own office, which I have decorated with pictures of my favorite places including Rome, Manarola, NYU's campus in Florence, Washington Square Park, and the New York skyline. And a picture of me, Mom, Dad, Glo and Jerry in front of Madison Square Garden at graduation sits on my desk. As soon as I can actually afford to get my diploma framed I will put it up too. And maybe a picture of Alfie.
This past week we had a welcome back week for the juniors and seniors, who are all so cute and excited about life. Most of them have just transferred to NYU and have not yet had the joy of life sucked out of them by nightly library visits, walking through twenty inch snow, or being accosted by homeless crazies on a daily basis. But they will learn soon. Last Sunday we had a recruitment event, an open house for seniors in high school who are considering NYU. They are so LITTLE, and excited. it is sweet. Next week we have the welcome event for the grad students. Basically, what all this means is that I have not found a 10-6 job as I had expected. I have found a work-all-the-freaking-time job, a work 10-6, but also nights and weekends job. Great.

Friday is my first real payday in...well, forever. And I am super excited. I am hoping that Jacqui and Sarah and I will go to Outback to celebrate. Yes, this is New York City and going to chain restaurtants like Outback is generally regarded as a joke and something that should be avoided at ALL costs. However, we went last summer for fun, got incredibly wasted and then walked the 20 blocks home, and have been meaning to repeat it eversince. I can't wait.

Anyway, I am thinking the next time I will make it to Cincinnati will probably be at Thanksgiving, and maybe again for Christmas, although that seems very up in the air. It has now been over nine months since I have been to Ohio and I am definitely missing it. Anyway, we will see what happens...

What is going on with me.

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 03:40:56 GMT

It occurred to me that I have not updated this thing for real in quite a long time. Life is good, but challenging. So I graduated in May-clearly. It was insane. Mom, Dad, Glo, and Jerry all came up to New York for the event. I have yet to get my actual diploma, sadly. I suspect that it is sitting in Cincinnati waiting for me. The day after graduation, I moved into our new apartment. The apartment search was a 2 month long extravaganza of stress. We found a place literally 4 days before I was kicked out of the dorm. My parents helped us move in on May 12-seriosuly an exhausting week. The next two weeks was spent making Ikea trips and painting. The apartment has turned out absolutely gorgeous. It is on the corner of 9th Street and 2nd Ave, conveniently located above Starbucks. I LOVE the East Village. I am so glad I got We got white couches-not always the smartest idea, but they were on sale. It actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise, since they are bleachable. So far they have had a serious run in with red wine, blood (don't ask), soy sauce, and blue curacao. Youc an see pictures of the apartment on facebook under the apartment album. It has become a real home. Sarah and Jacqui and I work very well together. We have already hosted several INSANE parties here, all of which seem to get inexplicably out of hand. Highlights include:
Me trimming Paul's happy trail in my bed with sewing scissors.
Alexander Farbstein huddling under the dining room table because he was unable to function.
Me kicking a group of pot-smoking strangers out of the apartment because they refused to stop smoking in Jacqui's room.
Cleaning up vomit in various locations and then seeing Jena Malone at the 24 hour Ukranian Diner across the street.

Life after college has been pretty tough. I have been waiting around for the real world to start, and it seems like it will be beginning in a few weeks. My part time job in the Applied Psychology Department looks like it will be turning into a full time job fairly soon. I will be the academic advisor for 100 Undergrads and 300 graduate students. Overwhelming much? I will be making about a decent salary, plus benefits, PLUS I can go to grad school for free. All of which I am excited about. The real job will probably start around the 14th of August. It is a little intimidating.

We have fairly frequent visitors sleeping on our couch. So far we have had Sarah's brother Cooper for a week, Jacqui's friend Soozy for random nights, Anne for two weeks, and various drunken people who stay for the night. Jacqui's step-sister will be here for a week in August. Hopefully Nancy will be spending a few nights here in August. And I am very excited that Josh is coming to NYC soon!

The summer has been good. Paul and I went to the Rufus Wainwright concert at Carnegie Hall in June. He was performing Judy Garland's legendary 1961 comeback concert. It was amazing. It was the gayest event I have ever experienced, in a word: fabulous.

Paul and I also attended "Broadway Under the Stars" which is this huge free concert thing in Central Park every year. A bunch of famous broadwayers perform random broadway songs on the Great Lawn. It was glorious. Everyone takes a blanket, wine, and a picnic dinner and watches the show and there are fireworks afterwards.

I went to Washington to visit the parents a couple weeks ago. Initially, I was only supposed to stay a week (the first of July). But I loved it out west so much, I extended the trip for another week. My parents are in Bellingham right now. It is about an hour north of Seattle, and 45 minutes south of Canada. On one side is the pacific ocean, and on the other there are just mountains. We spent a lot of time communing with nature. Which was glorious after being in New York for 7 months straight.

The weather here is slowly draining us of our will to live. It is so humid and so hot that it is awful to go outside. But you have to go outside to get anywhere. So whatever. I am excited for the fall. Nancy will be in DC which is a scant 3 hour busride away. I can see her more than once every 4 or 5 months. It is so nice to know that the Chinatown bus will be available to me for just $35 and I can see Nancy whenever.

I am a little disappointed to find out that BD has abandoned hope of coming here. I plan on working on her a little longer.

Hope you are all doing well.

Stolen from kara

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 03:59:59 GMT

Wasting time before going to see The Lake House....If I get bored enough I will try to provide a real update soon...

Part 1: The Birth of You.

Were you a planned baby?:Very planned.
Were you the first?: No
Who was present at your birth? My mom (obviously), Dad, Justin, and Grandma
Were your parents married when you were born?: Yes, for 6 years
What is your birth date?: 3/4/84

Part 2: The Family

How would you describe your family? Huge, insane, fun, and exhaustiong.

Are your parents married? Divorced? Separated?: Very married

Siblings or an only child?: 1 sibling, Justin
If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?:Youngest...
Which parent do you get along with best?: Tricky. Mom annoys me much more than Dad. But I talk to Mom a lot more. I get along with them equally-just different.
What do you fight about?: I don't know? We don't really fight.
Do you have step parents?:No

Part 3: The Friends

Do you have more than one best friend?: Yes. Ish
Who are your best friends? Nancy, Sarah, and Jacqui
Do you share the same interest? Ummm...not really.

Part 4: Your Personality

Do you get depressed about things easily?:No
Are you an extrovert or an introvert?: Ha. Depends on how drunk I am... and who I am with.
Are you happy? Eh. What is happy? I believe in suicidal and normal. I am normal.
Do you live life to the fullest?: Stupid question. It is a little meaningless...

Part 5: Appearance

Are you comfortable with the way you look?: No. Although I don't think it is possible to be satisfied with looks in our society, so it is sorta a trick question.
Do you have any piercings other than your ears? Nope.
Describe your hair? Annoying.
What make-up do you wear?: Umm, depends on how early I wake up. Usually blush, eyeshadow and mascara.
How do you dress?: Pretty normal..

Part 6: The Past

Were you a strange child?: Very.

What did you used to love that you no longer do? Ummm...skip-it?
Do you have the same friends?: A couple.
Was there anything in your past that was traumatizing?: A better question would be: Is there anything in your past that WASN'T traumatizing?

Part 7: The Future

What is your ambition?: To get my Ph.D., be respected, loved, and to have integrity.
Are you scared of growing old?: Terrified.
Do you want to get married? Yes

Part 8: The Outdoors

Do you prefer indoors or outdoors?: Depends on the weather...
What is your favorite season: Hmmm...In cincinnati-winter. In New York, Spring
Favorite weather? Hmmm, 70 degrees, not humid, and perfectly sunny.
Do you like walking in the rain?: No.

Part 9: Food

Are you a vegetarian?: Absolutely not.
What is your favorite food? Hmmm...don't know. I like anything as long as it is cooked well...
What food makes you want to gag?: Ummm, cooked peas.
What is your favorite dessert?: Icecream.
What is your favorite restaurant?: Ummm, in New York-Supper. In Florence-Acqua Al Due. In Cincinnati-Skyline
Are you a fussy eater? Not even close...

Part 10: Relationships and Love

Are you single or taken?: Very Single.
Do you think love is the best feeling in the world?: yes and no.

Part 11: Experiences

What was one of your greatest experiences?: Studying in Europe.
What was one of your worst? Hmmm...I don't know.
Have you ever thought you were going to die? Yes
Have you ever suffered from depression?: Yes

Ummmm...

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 05:13:16 GMT

So, here I am. It has been awhile. Apparently I never update this thing. Clearly I am either drunk or have a paper to do... In this case it is both. Damnit. So Michelle's friend won this free happy hour at a bar here, called Down the Hatch. It is this trashy college bar, but with a ridiculous mix of people. So anyone that the friend put on the list could drink for free between 9 and 10 tonight. So Michelle, her friend Chris who is staying with us right now, and Maggie and I went. And it was the most ridiculous experience of life. The drinks were insanely strong and AWFUL. And so I drank 3 vodka tonics as quickly as possible and then Maggie couldn't finish her two drinks so I helped her. Which was stupid. After a brief stop at Paul's to sing "In Your Eyes" I finally came home. And now I have a paper to write. it is really just an easy little two page thing, that doesn't REALLY affect my grade as long as I turn it in, but still. The professor READs them which means it would be nice if it was coherent. However, there are a whole string of problems concerning the coherence of this paper:
1. I did not buy (and thus, did not read) the book which was supposed to be the primary focus of the readings.
2. I have not yet read the other court cases which I do have, which are supposed to be the NOT primary focus of the paper.
3. I am still drunk.
Earlier, for dinner, Jan and Maggie came over and we had a skyline dinner. mmmm skyline. And Jan was like I don't understand how you can do that-Go drinking and then write a paper. (of course Jan is a perfect student and he always writes his papers beforehand...), and my reasoning was: how many times in college have I had the chance to go to a bar and drink FOR FREE? and how many times in college have i had to write a paper? Well, the answer to the first was never. And the answer to the second was...oooh, 100? So clearly, this was an important event to attend. This is officially meaningless ramble. And I am just using Livejournal as a tool to procrastinate while I sober up to write my paper.
In other news i am going to visit my parents this weekend. It is my mom's birthday on Sunday. Originally, the parents were going to come up here for the weekend and we were going to DO the town. But then Dad got laid off and they didn't want to spend the money. Oh Yeah. Dad got laid off. Again. This is like the 4th time in the past 4 years. It is complete insanity. And sad. So now everything is all crazy and up in the air again. he applied to jobs in California, Louisiana, and South Carolina. He should hear back in the next couple days. So that should be interesting.

In other news, my boss is on vacation this week, so I am getting ataste of the forreal academic advising life. And it is going good. I really hope I get the job there. I do not remember the last time I updated. So if you do not know about this potential job, it is as an academic advisor in the Applied Psychology department here. I would be advising Masters students. And I could go to grad school here for free. Which would be wondrous. And Sarah and Jacqui and I are currently searching for an apartment. I am excited.

Damnit. it is after midnight. I have to read (skim) and write (BS) this paper (piece of shit) now. Miss you all.

This is Nancy's fault:

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 23:26:53 GMT

http://kevan.org/johari?name=jeninnyc

Thanks to Nancy, for giving me a way to procrastinate...

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 04:21:23 GMT

Q: WHOS THE 4TH PERSON ON YOUR RECEIVED CALL LIST?
A: Johnny

Q: WHATS YOUR MAIN RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
A: It is this awful ring that Weasel put on it over Christmas, which meows... I HATE the ring, but now it reminds me of Weez, so I kept it.

Q: WHAT WERE YOU D0ING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT?
A: Watching Silence of the Lambs. What a great movie.

Q: WHAT DID THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE ON YOUR CELL PHONE SAY?
A: "Via Della Zoccolette 95 Avenue A, corner of 6th St at 6:30 pm."

Q: WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
A: White-actually an old tshirt of my dad's, celebrating the 1996 Kentucky Wildcats' national championship.

Q: HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE
A: What list?

Q: WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR UNDIES RIGHT NOW?
A: orange.

Q: MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED?
A: Silence of the Lambs and Pocahontas. One right after the other. Amazing.

Q: NAME 3 THINGS THAT YOU HAVE ON YOU AT ALL TIMES
A: NYU ID card, keys, cell phone

Q: WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEETS?
a: Blue and White.

Q: HOW MUCH CASH DO YOU HAVE ON YOU RIGHT NOW?
A. Ha. Ha. Ha. maybe one dollar...and even less in my bankaccount. Yay overdrawing!

Q: What is your favorite part of the chicken?
A: Breasts, baby.

Q: What's your favorite town/city?
A: Oh lord, Rome. Easy.

Q: I can't wait to (til)...?
A: graduate...and have a job settled...and an apartment. So approximately May 15 is looking good.

Q: When was the last time you saw your mom?
A: January 7.

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
A: Same day

Q: When was the last time you talked to them?
A: Today

Q: Who got you to join livejournal?
A: Ujournal got me to join when it broke. Thanks for nothing ujournal.

Q: What did you have for dinner LAST NIGHT?
A: Ummm...ramen?

Q: How long have you been at your current job?
A: well, I have been at oxford press since september. And the applied psychology department since december.

Q: Look to your left. What's there?
A: Michelle's desk, two closets, and the bathroom.

Q: What is the last thing/person you spent over $100 on?
A. My credit card bill. that is sad.

Q: Who's your favorite villain?
A: Ursula.

Q: Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
A. Ummm...I stole a couple of my dad's t shirts to sleep in because I didn't pack well.

Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?
A: NYU email, NYtimes, facebook, NYU careerservices.

Q: Do you have an air freshener in your car?
A: I do not have a car. But I have a candle lit on my desk, and an oil burner thing on the table.

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
A: On rare occasions we have flowers...

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: My back, shoulders, and neck. As always.

Q: What city was your last taxicab ride in?
A: New York. Clearly.

Q: Do you own a picture phone?
A: No. I don't fully believe in them

Q: What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
A: Caramel Macchiato, with an extra shot.

Q: Recent time you were really upset?
A: Thursday night.

_____Bests_______

1. female friend: Nancy and Sarah
2. Vacation: Either Rome with the boys, Rome with Nancy, or Hamburg with Paul and Char
3. age: Um. I guess 21?
4. memory: Hard question. The Pantsless Party, The driving part of mine and Nancy's road trip to SC, My 20th birthday, going into the Sistine chapel for the first time, The first kings night in Florence, water fights in chemistry, dairy queen at home with Nancy two summers ago.

______Worst________

1. Time of day: the first half hour after the alarm clock goes off.
2. Day of the week: Sundays.
3. Food: Cooked Peas.
4. Memory: probably hearing from a nurse that my grandma had "expired"

_______Lasts__________

1. Person u saw: Michelle and Jacqui
2. Talked on the phone with: Paul
4. IM: Nancy, John, Johnny

_______today________

1. What are you doing now: procrastinating from translating Cicero.
2. What are you doing tonight: probably procrastinating for another hour, then finally doing only half of my homework before falling asleep.
3. What are you wearing: huge sweatpants and Dad's shirt
4. What did you eat for lunch: Well, i ate breakfast at 11 (had a plain toasted bagel with cream cheese, courtesy of Michelle, and coffee, courtesy of starbucks), and ate lunch at 4 (pizza and a salad)
5: Better than yesterday: Ha. not by a loooooong shot

________tomorrow___________

1. Is: Monday
2. Got any plans: three classes, work, and homework.
3. Goal: remember to ask Corinne to be a reference for Random House.
4. Dislikes about tomorrow: it isn't saturday.

________Fav's__________

1. Number: 16?
2: Song: "First Day of My Life," Bright Eyes.
3. Color: purple?
4. Season: Fall.
5. State: don't have one... maybe Montana.

________Currently_________

1. Are you in love?: I think no.
2. Dating someone: No.
3. Missing someone: Always.
4. Mood: Tired. Cranky. Sad.
5. Wanting: sleep. for days. I want to sleep for days.

And now, Nancy is online to entertain me and further prevent productivity from occurring. So I can be done here.

Laughing and driving.

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 08:10:09 GMT

Had a wondrous day and an equally great night. I managed to sleep in till 2:30, which is officially my first real sleep of the break. It was incredible. I then awoke and lazed around until Nancy came over and I finally showered, etc. We headed to a liquor store on Beechmont to buy Potts' present and then to the mall to browse. I bought a lot of shampoo and chapstick. yum. Then we went back to my house where we made CDs and THEN to Carrabbas, the new "italian" place at Beechmont mall to meet Josh. Who continues to be amazing. Afterwards, we met the group at the bowling alley for another round of craziness. Highlights include Potts drinking an entire pitcher of beer alone, Weasel continuously lowering Nancy's score on the computer, BD bowling like a fucking CHAMP, and me finally breaking 100. Afterwards we headed to Steak N Shake and then Nancy and I drove around singing/talking for an hour. Awesome. Days like today make up for the awfulness that parts of the break have been. Anyway, it was just a great night. It was super good to see Josh again. Nancy and I discussed what we liked so much about him and we both commented how much we like that he thinks before he speaks. Clearly this is a quality that both nancy and i lack, but one gets the feeling with Josh that he chooses his words carefully to say exactly what he means to say. I wish i could be a little more like that.
Anyway, it has been a relatively good christmas, except for the presence of my brother in my house which always manages to ruin life. Among the chief reasons why he does this are:
1. the house smells like cigarette smoke
2. he is an asshole
3. his big awful dog chewed up my favorite heels (which were EXPENSIVE and he refuses to replace them).
However, it is good to spend time with Nancy, who i feel like i get to see less and less. And I shopped with Paul. BUT ALAS, Nancy says she does not like Paul, which breaks my heart, because I fucking LOVE him. So that is a shame. however, I am not one who is bothered by my friends not liking each other. I love them both. Paul was ridiculous as always. I believe we are spending New Year's Eve together, however neither of us have plans, so we are uncertain of just WHAT we are doing. Regardless it will be good times.

Anyway, I have become too busy to finish this. Will try to update later. It probably won't happen.

Yes, I am a bandwagon whore....and I need a procrastination tool

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 03:32:50 GMT

January

"Ok, so things in Florence are going well."
"Buona Sera!"

February

"Hopefuly a big update will be coming soon. But for now, my pictures have been
updated!"

"I have to get up early tomorrow to catch my train to Ravenna."

March

"Well, last night started the official kick off of the "Jen's 21st Birthday
Extravaganza" celebration."

" I got my Gender and Family midterm back: A- for that piece of shit I turned
in. I LOVE Italy."

May

"So, am finally back in the States. Coming home has been a ridiculously weird
experience for me."

"Although loads of other crazy stuff going on-my parents are thinking about
selling the house and mom would move up here to PA to be with Dad...which has so
many other implications for me that it is frightening to think about."

June

"So I have just downloaded a client for Livejournal and it may be the highlight
of my week."

" Is not gonna be easy, especially while she is on Mount Kilamanjaro."

July

"This is going to be rambling and probably nonsensical because, a. I am partially
drunk, and b. have not had more than 5 hours of sleep/night in the past 20
years."

"All I know is that this life is passing quickly. And soon, high school, college,
my dissertation, marriage, kids...life will only be a memory, an entire spectrum
of memories so alive and vibrant within an aging body, whose time is nearly
gone. And yet the sidewalks shall still sparkle..."

August

"Tonight, I would like to take the time to discuss Nancy (and the rest of the AP
physics group.)"

"I guess all that is left to say is GO TEAM!"

September

"Already exhausted. School started only four days ago and already it is old."

"It is amazing how four days back and the tension in my neck and back are right
back with avengeance."

November

"I have officially hit rockbottom right now. So in exactly 5 hours I have two
essays due."

"Total hours of sleep between friday and saturday nights: 4. Fuck me."

December

"SO that sufficiently wasted a lil of my time. And it is now after two, which
means I left the library 3 hours ago with the hope of finishing my work here and
have done nothing."

"Suffice it to say that in the next five days, I have two take home finals due
(30 pages), a Latin final, a German test, a Christmas dinner party for 7 to
arrange/cook for, and a post dinner party BIG party to arrange/cook for, and
Christmas presents to buy. Kill me now."

So, another really good method of time wasting. But I now have to get back to my Jesus final, which is basically me writing an essay explaining why he was no one special. Awesome.

Procrastination.

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 07:29:32 GMT

01. What is your middle name? Anne
02. Last person you kissed? Johnny Degliuomini. That is horrific.
03. What are you listening to right now? The drunk men outside singing in Union Square.
04. Last 2 digits of your phone number? 16. Of course.
05. Last thing you ate? Spice... Red Chicken Curry and Shrimp Fritters. Mmmm...
06. Last person you hugged: Anne, as she cried on my shoulder.
07. How is the weather right now? Cold, but not frigid. a few flurries.
08. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Umm, either my mom, Jan, Sarah, or Anne?
09. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Clothes. God, what a hideously New York answer.
10. Last thing that made you feel warm inside? Ummm...probably when Sarah bought me yet another dinner tonight and I realized how lucky I was to have found such an amazing friend, who takes care of me selflessly all the time.
11. Do you drink? Too much.
12. Do you smoke? Never.
13. Ever get so drunk you dont remember what you did? Again..too much. Recent examples include: drunk dialling Nancy and explaining to her why I am a drunk Protestant, and why she needs to fix her life and how I suggest she do it. There is another good friend for you. Who else would put up with that bullshit?
14. Hair color? Brownish
15. Eye color? Brown
16. Do you wear contacts? No. Although at this rate, it is looking worse and worse.
18. When's your Birthday? March 4th.
19. Have you ever cried for no reason? Oh yeah. Although not so much anymore.
20. Last Movie You Watched? Syriana. Incredibly upsetting, but GOOD.
21. Last time you were at work? Friday. Unless the 11 hours spent at the library today count...
22. Last time you were out of your town? Out of my town meaning NYC, then Thanksgiving when I was home.
23. Last time you went bowling? Over the summer. And what a good night it was. With Nathan, Josh, Nancy, Potts, Brittany, and Allie. Good times.
24. Something unusual about you? I LOVE dead languages.
25. Favorite breakfast food? Mmm, Biscuits with sausage gravy. I have a lil of my dad's southerness in me.
26. Favorite color? Changes. Usually a pink or purple or red or blue. So I guess I don't have a favorite color.
27. What are you afraid of? Dying alone. Debt. Being a burden to my parents. The next seven months of my life.
28. If you could take a trip anywhere where would it be? Greece or Isreal.
9. What books are you reading? For pleasure, the Unbearable Lightness of Being (which I have suspended reading because Emily told me the end of it)...and The Dogs of Babel. For NOT pleasure, The Historical Jesus, Lucretius, and Religion after September 11.
30. Piercings? Ears only.
31. Favorite movie? I hate this question. Who can choose just one? I will put Pride and Prejudice (Colin Firth version), Airplane, and State and Maine at the top of the list though.
32. Favorite basketball team? I have not watched basketball since Michael Jordan retired the last time. So none.
33. What were you doing before you filled this out? Working on my Jesus final and talking to Jan online. So this is clearly procrastination at its finest right now...
34. Any pets? my baby, Alfie, and Pudentane
35. Instant Messanger Name? Jebady
36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? Butter AND salted.
37. Dogs or cats? Dogs
38. Favorite Flower? Roses, cliche I know.
39. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to? That would be one BIG yes.
40. Are you single or taken? Completely attachment free. Unless you count my recent marriage to Sarah on the facebook...
41. Have you ever loved someone? Yes.
42. Who would you like to see right now? Umm...I am pretty content in my loneliness right now. But I guess Nancy.
43. What's your occupation? Well at present I am three things: 1. editorial intern at Oxford University Press, 2. Office Assistant in the Applied Psychology Department, and 3. Illegal sollicitor for the New York School of Bartending. And I am still broke. What the fuck?
44. Have you ever fired a gun? Nope.
46. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right.
47. If you could be with someone right now, who would it be? Ummm, probably any of my friends...Nancy, Sarah, Jan, or Paul?
48. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2
49. Are you missing someone? Always.
50. Do you have a Tattoo? No. Although i sorta regret that fact.
51. Do you still watch cartoons on saturday mornings? God, when was the last time i even SAW a Saturday morning?
52. Do you like guys in girl jeans? If they look good, sure.
54. What are you getting for x-mas? Let's see, so far I know I am getting a new digital camera and DVD player from my parents. And Michelle's parents are getting me some form of shoes...
55. Are you happy with your life? I spose.
56. What do you wanna be when you grow up? A Professor of Classics.
57. Do you like girls that are sluts or good girls? Doesn't really matter. As long as they are nice people.
58. Are you a virgin? Ha. no.
59. what is you fav tv. show? Oh God, Friends all the way. Or I Love Lucy.
60. Whould you rather go out with a skater/punk rocker or football player/prep? Probably neither. let's be honest. But if I have to choose, I guess a football player...who happens to be indcredibly intelligent and funny.

SO that sufficiently wasted a lil of my time. And it is now after two, which means I left the library 3 hours ago with the hope of finishing my work here and have done nothing. Well nothing productive anyway. Damn. So I realize I haven't updated in a while. My life continues to spin out of control. As usual. But sadly, I don't have the time to talk about it. Suffice it to say that in the next five days, I have two take home finals due (30 pages), a Latin final, a German test, a Christmas dinner party for 7 to arrange/cook for, and a post dinner party BIG party to arrange/cook for, and Christmas presents to buy. Kill me now.

lowpoint...now

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 12:35:14 GMT

I have officially hit rockbottom right now. So in exactly 5 hours I have two essays due. One is nearly the finished. The other is barely started. I have not read the books they are based on.

This weekend was Maggie's 21st Birthday so we did it up styles. First we started off with a potluck dinner of sorts at her apartment. Which quickly turned into us just sitting a drinking...a lot. From there we headed down the street to "Big Bar" which is a total misnomer; it is freaking tiny. Once we closed that bar down, we headed to Odessa, a diner on Ave. A. By this time, most of the group had left us and it was only Sarah, Anne, Jan, the Birthday Girl, Alexander Farbstein and myself. A group I adore. a lot. We stayed there until about 4:30.

At which point we finally decide to adjourn to our various homes; jan and sarah to 13th st., anne to carlyle, and me to the library. the fucking library. drunk. to write my two essays.

Which is where we are at now. hopelessly fucked. i am constantgly amazed at my ability to be so stupid. always. Tomorrow, meanign today since it is 7am, and it seems silly to call it tomorrow when we are already 7 hours into the day...is going to be ROUGH. I am still recovering from the battle wounds of Friday night, which include but are not limited to: an inexplicably bruised hand (not only on my knuckle but on my palm...i have never had a bruise there before...), a slightly impaired right eye (also inexplicably), and a stomach which refuses to calm down. On Friday we had a Via Guido Monaco reunion which was lovely, but exhausting. After that, Sarah and I went to vist John Andrew Martinez and ended up staying out hideously late again. I am getting too old to do this craziness. Anyway, Friday night brought with it several interesting revelations. The first was that Sarah, as suspected, definitely did tell Jacqui that she had a huge crush on her. The other was that Anne really likes Jan...a lot. Which definitely complcated things. Not because I want Jan, but because we have gotten to be close friends, so everytime we are all together, I feel like I should be less friendly with him, so that Anne will not think I am encroaching. But Jan and I are naturally VERY friendly. So, while it was definitely an interesting piece of gossip, it has made life a little awkward for me.

Anyway, last night was hysterical. I love these people. LOVE them. If you put Paul, Maggie, Sarah, Alexander Fabstein, Jan, Anne, and I into a room together (preferably a room which also served as a wine cellar), I could efficiently waste a good three weeks or so. Easy. Speaking of wine, Maggie had some 22 year old wine at the party tonight and DEAR GOD. Heaven on earth. I have never tasted wine like that. It was the smoothest thing ever. I can not get over it...like at all. SO good. Which reminds me of why I want to not be poor. I would really like to be able to enjoy things like that more often than when my rich friends take pity on my poor ass. Sarah and Anne are going to Prague next semester. I am so jealous. I miss Europe. I miss not having resposibility. So the typical foursome of this semester, Anne, Sarah, Jan and I, will be come just Jan and I. Which is good and bad. Jan and I will probably spend our time together in diners late at night discussing politics and our love of salt, or going to pretentious concerts. But the drunken craziness will definitely be lacking a little bit. Which is a shame.

Fucking A. It is 7:33. I have to stop writing this and concentrate on Marx and Weber. both of which i hate....a lot....like more than I can explain.

Papers are due in 4.5 hours.
Chipotle in 6.5 hours.
Total hours of sleep between friday and saturday nights: 4. Fuck me.

Shocking.

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 16:06:19 GMT

You are a
Social Liberal
(75% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(28% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Democrat

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid

"My choice is what I choose to do, and if I am causing no harm, it shouldn't bother you."

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 02:44:13 GMT

Already exhausted. School started only four days ago and already it is old. this past summer I had become convinced that maybe I wasn't entirely burnt out on this whole college thing. I mean it has been over 8 months since I have really done it. And then the first week of classes started and I remembered why I was sick of the whole thing. I think college has become increasingly less fun as I get older and sort of tired of the whole college, drink into olblivion and "oh my god i had the most insane night of my life this weekend" spiel. I'm not sure exactly what is irking me about the whole thing right now. I guess I am just sick of the people that I seem constantly surrounded with who can't remember the last night they weren't drunk. It was funny, because today at dinner we were having a conversation about 'adults' and how the older people were getting the older their idea of an 'adult' got. And I was thinking just the opposite. I was thinking how it is easy for people whose parents consistantly deposit money into their accounts to discuss how adulthood seemed far away. Meanwhile, I am stressed about money to no end. And it is not only that. But I am sick of the communications majors and the early childhood education majors, etc. At NYU there are certain majors such as these which are renouned for being easier. And somehow, as usual, I have placed myself into two majors which are renouned for their intense amount of work and serious study required. It is like I search for the thing that requires the most amount of work and then go after it. I don't understand why I do this. I always have. My mind is drawn to 11th grade English, when Mrs. Fisher gave us two options: we could read one long difficult book, or two short easy books. So what do I choose? The long hard one. But why? cause I like a challenge? Maybe. I just don't know. All I know is that the trend is continuing and it is exhausting and self destructive. Sometimes it is just better to choose the easy route. Maybe I am just dumb. Like Belle's father in "Beauty and the Beast" when he is at a fork in the road and chooses the incredibly scary looking one instead of the nice, well-lit one. I mean, the fucking horse knew better, and yet he still chooses the other direction. I mean, in the end Belle's father turned out to be a mad genius sort of person, so I guess I am not upset that we share bad decision making skills, but still...

So I think that basically my life is falling apart right now. It is like everything that has always been there for me as support is slowly crumbling and I am left standing on one lonely stilt-confused and doing a pretty intense balancing act that could end badly at any time. First it is the whole home thing. In the whole craziness of the New York experience, going home has been a calm, tranquil place-where I could relax and be totally at ease. Now my parents are selling the house, which is heart breaking for so many different reasons. It has been such a comforting place, and so many wonderful memories took place there, and I had envisioned so many more happening there and now I may never even set foot in it again.

In other discomforting news, I had to quit my job. Well, I didn't HAVE to, but I opted to in hope of something better to come along. I could tell I was going to drive myself crazy running back and forth and my class schedule only allows for about 10 hours of work a week, which is basically like nothing. So after three years there, I up and quit. And cried the rest of the day. The people at work have actually been my new york family. They are the ones who I know I can turn to if I ever have a real emergency or if I ever need anything. How many times has Jon offered to lend/give me money when I complain about how poor I am? I have just always pictured he and Karen, and Amy as my support here for some reason. And now I have cut loose. Of course, I will still see them. Especially Jon. But not seeing them on a daily basis will be hard. Quitting was a seriously hard decision. I am still upset about it. I am still working there for now until I am able to find a new job, where I can work nights and weekends, but going in every day is just a little bit bittersweet because it is all ending.

I think that is how I feel in general. That everything I have known u p to this point is ending. Cincinnati, school, work. So basically my entire life. People who know me well, know that i like to have things planned...and planned well in advance and to the detail. I think the uncertainty of everything right now is what is bother me so much. In nine months what the fuck am I going to be doing?! Not a clue. Not a single freaking clue. And even worse I have no idea what I WANT to do. Which is the strangest feeling for me. I always know what i want. I am a decision maker. I am good at it. And I am usually right. And now, I am completely lost and being lost is very out of my element. I need the reassurance of my own opinions. Not having one is the scariest thing in the world.

Anyway, moving on to happier topics. My apartment this year is completely kick ass nice, beautiful, I adore it. It is huge. It faces Union Square and has a whole wall of windows overlooking it. It is easily easily the best room Michelle and I have head to date. It is almost too big. We don't have stuff to fill it. We need new furniture or something. I am thinking about a trip to Ikea when I get a chance.

Thus far this first week of school, I have seen a LOT of Sarah, which is to be expected since we do have class together five times a week. Deutsch. Which I am loving! Who would have thought German would have been my favorite class this semester? So weird! But it is easy so far and I like most of the people in it and it is totally enjoyable. Besides Sarah, I have of course been spending a lot of time with Michelle, who I had forgotten how much i missed. We do live well together. Although we are probably bad for each other. We are both so antisocial-ish and content to sit at home and be ridiculous together that we spend too much time at home together. I've seen a lot of Maggie. Who I love. And Paul of course. Who I have also seen a surprising amount of. He and I have arranged a weekly lunch date. Every wednesday at 2 at Weinstein. Sometimes with maggie. And also Jacqui, of course. Who I miss having around on a daily basis. I got sort of used to living with her over the summer and now it is weird not to see each other all the time. A theme thus far has been alcohol. Which is probably why I am in tonight instead of out with all the others. I needed a break from the craziness and expensiveness of the "out" scene. But now that Michelle and I are 21, we have developed this bad habit of going out for dinner and stopping at a bar on the way home and just having a couple drinks. No wonder i am already behind in my classes. Last night we were at Coffee Shop and this druuuuuunk guy next to us at the bar turns to me and is like, "Where did you get that shirt?" And I am like, "In Italy" And then he proceeds to talk to me about Italy for the next half hour...and I could hardly understand a word he said. He was soooo wasted. Clint. He was actually pretty funny, in an aggressive, incredibly drunk man way. I just get uncomfortable around i ncredibly drunk men in bars...I am not sure why. Probably because of so many bad experiences in italy. I will never forget when our group was going to this incredibly packed bar/restaurant, whose name I have completely forgotten, and it was a huge struggle just to get from one side of the room to another. And so we are doing the whole sideways walking thing to squeeze through tiny places and some sleazy italian guy grabs my boob and said something...what was it? It was actually a pretty funny thing to say--OH, he was like "Complimenti, principessa." Ugh, I shudder just thinking about it. By the time we got on the other side of the room where it was less crowded, I was traumatized and Maggie and Sarah and I decided immediately to turn around and go elsewhere. That is so funny. I had sorta completely forgotten that whole night. And then we went to another bar, Mayday, where the three of us could just sit and talk. SO much better. Except then I kept making unintentional eye contact with some guy on the other side of the room. This is my least favorite thing about going out. Is the unintentional eye contact. because you accidentally do it once or twice and then have to check back to make sure HE doesn't think that YOU are interested. And then the eye contact happens all over again. And it continues...until he comes over and asks you if he can buy you a drink. And you have to be the bitch who says no thank you, even though it is perfectly understandable that he thought you were interested. So I kept looking at this guy because he was sitting right behind maggie and sarah so whenever i would look from one or the other, he was just THERE. damn. What a night... I do miss the craziness of Italy, I guess. I definitely miss the complete lack of responsibility...and the freeness of a foreign country. I dunno.

Anyway, I need to put some pajamas on and relax. It is amazing how four days back and the tension in my neck and back are right back with avengeance. Hasn't been like this since december. Weird.

ummm...Ode to Nancy...and others

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 06:19:41 GMT

Tonight, I would like to take the time to discuss Nancy (and the rest of the AP physics group.) God knows why I have decided I need to do this instead of going to bed, but here goes:

As I am packing up my room and going through all my childhood toys in the basement so that they can be put into a storage unit until I am ready to reclaim them, it occurs to me how incredibly important some people are to me...and how incredibly unimportant others have become. This summer Paul explained to me his theory on friendship and it dawned on me that I have always believed the same thing, I had just never organized the thoughts into a coherent entity. Paul said, "I have gotten to a place in my life where each of my friends is a friend for a specific reason. I don't have to keep friends around solely because, through the politics of high school society, they have received the title of friend. I have enough of them that I can be a little more selective in the friends I keep from the past and the new friends I make." This is what I love about Paul--he shares my general cynicism about everything, but somehow we both manage to have an incredible amount of fun. So anyway, I got to thinking about the roles that each of my friends play in my life and it occurs to me that some of them have no role except as filler-bench warmers, if you will--you know, the people that round out the team and make it look nice and full but do very little playing. And then there are others, the star players, to continue the analogy, who really make my life what it is.

And thus, it must be said that Nancy is the hot quarterback/student body president/most likely to succeed. And my other starting line up consists of Sarah, Michelle, Maggie, Jacqui, Weez, Brandt, Potts, Alex, Paul and Johnny. A lot of people don't really understand the relationships I have with people, but in particular it has recently been noted that people don't understand me and nancy. I think what I like most about our friendship is that we are basically the same people on the inside, with a very different way of presenting ourselves on the outside. When I am majorly confused about something, whether it be that illusive word that a sentence in an essay needs to be PERFECT, or whether or not to enter into illicit affairs, Nancy is the first person I call. I explain the situation, and she tells me what I think. That is the beauty of our friendship. If I were to assign Nancy an official job position, it would be "Thought organizer." Because Nancy knows me well enough so that if I call her with a problem she already knows what I think the solution to the problem is, even though I am sometimes unaware of it. And then she explains to me what SHE thinks I think and tells me what the solution is. It is hard to put into words exactly, but maybe that is what makes our relationship so amazing.

Thing next that is wonderful about Nancy is that she is actually the only person in the world that I am totally and completely honest with. I never sugar coat things for her. If I think she is being screwed over by a guy or if she is being a total pussy about something I tell her straight out. Here is a very minor example: today nancy calls me to bitch about a few things, but also to tell me that she saw "Must Love Dogs" and adored it. With anyone else, I would probably say something like, "Oh yeah, I saw it a few weeks ago in New York. it was cute." Because why start a needless debate? But what did I say to nancy? "Actually, I saw it a few weeks ago and thought it was sorta crappy. I didn't like Diane Lane. She is old...and will never be as good in anything as she was in "Unfaithful."" And that was that. Also, we understand that whenever anything big happens in life, we call each other first-and it is not out of necessity or obligation, just because we want each other to know first. Like after losing my virginity I drove straight to Nancy's house...or like when Nancy snogged a random, nameless Irishman, she called me in Italy as she walked home from the pub. Or when I took the GREs a couple weeks ago and did really well, I called her first, and even though she didn't answer, it was nice to talk to her voicemail. So I guess what I am trying to say is, if you are confused about why Nancy and I are friends, then you either don't really know who she is, or you have no idea who I am. Because if you knew us both as we are when being completely honest, you would understand COMPLETELY why we are so close.

And as far as the old AP physics crowd goes, I miss them, sooo much. It seems like there are certain groups of people in which drama just totally flourishes, and it is remarkable to me that within this small group of five people, there is a complete lack of drama. If you put me, Nancy, Weez, Potts, and Alex in a room together, no one has underlying tensions/issues with each other. We just have fun-good old fashioned fun. I absolutely LOVE that. So much, I can't explain it. No one talks about each other behind their back, because what could we possibly bitch about? I really miss these people so much.

So I guess lately I have been stressing a lot about not having a homebase here in Cincinnati, and that I thought it would be the end of some of my friendships with people here. And while it probably will be the end to a lot of relationships, the ones that will be ending were not really friendships to begin with. They were the only the benchwarmers anyway. Having a house in a city will in no way dictate who my real friends are. I guess I have come to realize this. And now the thought of this whole facade ending has somehow become...refreshing. It is almost like spring cleaning. If I can pack up the stuffed animals that I have had since I was two years old, all my old barbie dolls, and baby clothes, and diaries, and high school notes and pictures, I can also pack up the important relationships and carry them with me. Lately the idea of starting over again after college has become so attractive to me. But maybe I don't need to make a clean cut from everything, I just need to sweep away some of the remnants of high school that had gotten caught up in the cobwebs. I feel really good about this somehow. I guess all that is left to say is GO TEAM!

Sat, 23 Jul 2005 02:59:02 GMT

Life is...well great, I guess. This summer has been pretty amazing in its own ways despite all the crazy breakdowns. I still have no freaking clue what is going on in my life. I've decided to not worry about it for a little while. Classes are going well, I think. Midterms ended last week. I got a B+ in the Holocaust and an A in Ancient Greece. Which translates into decency. The Holocaust bores me to all hell an makes me want to die a small death every time i look at my watch in there. The teacher is so bad. I wish he had stayed at UC where he belonged. I thought it was so funny that I leave Cincinnati to come here only to have a UC teacher. And I hate him. But alas, it is the summer, what does one expect?

Am spending a ridiculous amount of time with Jacs and Sarah. Before Paul left to go home, we saw each other at least a couple of times a week. I freaking adore that boy. And although I talk to Johnny at least once a day, I've only spent a handful of nights with him. I will be both sad and really happy to be back home for a little while. I need a breather. Especially before next semester. So remember that away message a little while ago which so many of you responded to, that said " Should I kill myself next semester or not?" So the official decision has been made to go ahead with the murder. This was decided by:
a. taking not only German, but Intensive German
b. taking Advanced Latin in addition to the above mentioned.
c. Agreeing to not only do an honors thesis, but to doing two...
d. Agreeing that, in addition to the other two language classes, both of the theses will involve more latin translation.
e. the process of applying to grad schools...maybe.
f. working for Jon and hopefully an additional job to save money for the next summer.

So these are the plans. In addition to German, Latin, and my theses classes, I am taking "Jesus, the Jews and the Romans" and "Theories and Methods in the Study of Religion" which, according to the professor i met with the other day, I will absolutely hate. Although I already adore him so hopefully it'll even itself out.

In other news, I have hurt my foot. I do not know what is wrong with it. But intense pain...frequently.

The other night Sarah cooked Jacs and I a fiorentina dinner and we watched all the completely awful drunken movies I had made with her camera in Italy. They are so ridiculous. I love/hate them. I am hoping to download them all onto my computer before I come home in August to show people. I like really enjoy being drunk, but hate how ridiculously stupid I sound when i am. There are 5 or 6 movies that I have made of absolutely nothing while I lay on Sarah's bed. Like me just talking to the camera or to other people who are paying me no attention. A lot of it involves me focusing the camera on stationary objects and talking about them..like sarah's computer or the ceiling. Awful.

Anyway, I am hoping to have those and Charlene's before the next two weeks fly by.

I think it is off to bed with me now. Much love.

Feeling a little bored at work...thought i would share this with y'all

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 17:24:11 GMT

This is probably only funny to us classics majors...

BUSH REGALES DINNER GUESTS WITH IMPROMPTU ORATORY ON VIRGIL'S MINOR WORKS

WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush delighted an intimate gathering of White House dinner guests Monday, regaling the coterie of dignitaries, artists, and friends with a spirited, off-the-cuff discussion of the Roman poet Virgil's lesser-known works.

"Ah, W. was in top form tonight," Spanish foreign minister Josep Pique Camps said. "We were all held captive by his erudition and charm. First, a brief history of the opium trade, then a bit of Brahms on the piano, then a rousing discussion of Virgil. That boy is a wonder, isn't he?"

According to guests, the subject of Virgil arose serendipitously, when a servant opened a window in the Red Room, to which the group had retired for after-dinner drinks. Noticing the breeze, Bush raised his glass and delivered a toast to the changing of the seasons. He then apologized to "lovely Winter," explaining that he "meant no slight against her."

"The first blush of Spring always reminds me of Virgil's words," Bush said. "In early spring-tide, when the icy drip / Melts from the mountains hoar, and Zephyr's breath / Unbinds the crumbling clod, even then 'tis time / Press deep your plough behind the groaning ox / And teach the furrow-burnished share to shine."

"Book One of The Georgics, of course," Bush added.

Bush arranged the small, informal dinner in honor of Camps' unexpected arrival in America.

"It had been too long since I'd heard one of W.'s anecdotes, so I simply got on a plane," Camps said. "I showed up at his doorstep with a watercolor by Ignat Bednarik, whom I know he adores, just to make sure he'd let me in."

Bush confessed that he has "long held a fascination with the classical world," noting that his love of Roman history influenced his decision to enter politics.

"Virgil was born in the year 70 B.C.—let's see, that would be during the consulship of Gnaeus Pompeius The Great and Marcus Licinius Crassus, if I'm not mistaken," Bush said. "It is said that while Virgil's mother was with child, she dreamt she gave birth to a laurel branch, which, upon touching the ground, sprang up into a full-grown tree, its branches laden with ripe fruits and flowers. The next morning, she gave birth to Virgil. The legend goes that Virgil was born without crying, so mild was his countenance."

According to White House regulars, it is not uncommon for Bush to engage guests in discussions of whatever subject strikes his fancy, from the symphony playing in the background to the history of a style of jewelry a guest happens to be wearing.

"I love to hear George hold court on this or that," said Bush family friend and world-renowned physicist Norberta Münter. "I tell him he is such a spoiled brat, the way he demands our attention, but I must confess I can't take my eyes off him when he does."

As the group sipped apple martinis and, in Bush's words, "recovered" from the Chilean sea bass, the president continued.

"Most primarily associate Publius Vergilius Maro with The Aeneid," Bush told guests. "Yet so much pleasure is to be found in his lesser-known works—The Eclogues, completed in 37 B.C., and The Georgics, in 30 B.C., both of which praise the idyllic rural life."

"You have to remember I'm a bit of a farm boy myself," chuckled Bush, referring to his 1,600-acre ranch in Crawford, TX.

"The Bucolics are my personal favorite," Bush said. "They were basically a thank-you to Asinius Pollio for preventing the seizure of Virgil's land by the Triumvirate when they ordered the lands on the far banks of the river Po distributed to veterans of the victory at Philippi. They are so sublime, so inspirational. But why should I speak, when Virgil can do so himself? And far more eloquently, I might add."

Bush then recited a selection from The Bucolics in the original Latin, pausing occasionally to translate into French out of respect for his friend Amélie du Maurier, a young Parisian concert violinist in attendance. Earlier in the evening, a blushing du Maurier admitted to Bush that she did not know Latin. Bush eased the young woman's embarrassment with a joke.

"I wouldn't be surprised if your father forbade you from learning Latin, out of sheer distaste for res publica," said Bush, alluding to du Maurier's ancestors' place in the ousted French aristocracy.

Despite urging from dinner guests to continue his Bucolics recitation, Bush declined.

"I have already taken up far too much of your valuable time with my classical nattering," Bush said. "I dearly wish I could give you back this hour during which you so graciously indulged my dilettantism, but, as Plautus said, 'Factum est illud, fieri infectum non potest.' Done is done, it cannot be made undone."

Am aging...am apathetic...am sad.

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 05:34:56 GMT

This is going to be rambling and probably nonsensical because, a. I am partially drunk, and b. have not had more than 5 hours of sleep/night in the past 20 years.

So please tell me at what point I became legitimately old? Today, I did something strange. I went to Freshman Orientation. Three yearsw ago, I was doing the exact same thing, and I was completely overwhelmed and lost in this big old city. And today, I returned, this time as a complete outsider. Surrounded by several hundred soon to be Freshman, I have never felt so old. After three years of hearing the cliche jokes about NYU, the same sort of jokes that every campus has-they are repeated five thousand times by every class that enters the school and yet never seem to be stop being funny-I endured the same ones, while the freshman around me wondered what exactly a Sternie was. It was all for Paul, my dearest Paul, who returns to orientation every year as a leader-aka the first person you actually associate with the next four year sof your life. During NYU's orientation, we do a talent show-half of the people in it are the incoming freshman who volunteer and the orientation leaders. Paul appeared in a gag on the song "Popular", which had since been converted to "Fabulous", and included lines like, "Gay by may-hah more like Gay by october." He then appeared in drag as Jessica Simpson later on, which was the real highlight. And oh so funny. That boy never ceases to amaze me with his talent. It was so strange though to be surrounded by Freshman, to be back in that hopeful, I have no idea what this place is going to be like but it must be great because the sidewalks sparkle sort of mentality. It sort of amazes me how my love for this school has changed over the years. At first you do still have those stars in your eyes, "Oh my god, NYU is the number One Dream School in America! I am so lucky." And then slowly, the stars fade to tiny sparkles, as the periphery of constant homelessness and desperation starts to set in and soon by the second half of sophomore year, the whole college thing is 'so over' and one begins to wonder what the fuck we are doing here anyway. But peace reasserts itself slowly, and as the end approaches you realize what a gift you have been given to live in such a place for 4 years, to attend a school that gave you a quick lesson in the dichotomies of a love/hate relationship. Because there is nothing an NYU student loves to do more than hate the whole institution. but secretly, when we are out of the city, when the sidewalks no longer sparkle and the acrid smell of urine is only a distant memory, NYU represents something so much larger than just the corporation it is-it is freedom. It is a place where you can get on a stage and say Fuck, because God knows if that had happened at home, there would be detentions involved, maybe suspensions.
Alright, so I don't remember any longer where exactly I was going with all that and to be honest, I don't care. That seems to be the theme of my entire being lately. I just don't fucking care anymore. Example: a boy in my Greek class today, whom I have disliked for awhile now, explicitly said something which pinpointed him as a diehard Bush-Supporting Republican(a ginormous NONO in NYU land), and did I take him down-embarass his stupid ass in front of the class? No. Because I don't care anymore. When did apathy become my overriding emotion? When did the passionate Jen end, and the indifferent one begin? The only emotions I seem to have anymore are so convoluted that I don't even understand them. So i have been trying to comprehend my own complexity of emotions I am feeling as I enter my last year of college. Relief that this whole charade will end soon. And a lot of it is a charade. I have met so many women here who are seriously the girls who came to college, not to educate themselves and prepare for a career, but to find a husband who will buy them stuff, so many people who hate the whole act of education but know that a college degree is needed to get anywhere in this world, and others who are just too fucking stupid to be in academia anyhow. So there is excitement about the possibility of moving on to higher education, finally schooling that can legitimately be called higher. But at the same time, my existence has become so anachronous, If someone were to ask me how old I feel, what age I think I should be, I don't have a fucking clue-17? 42? No clue. All I know is that this life is passing quickly. And soon, high school, college, my dissertation, marriage, kids...life will only be a memory, an entire spectrum of memories so alive and vibrant within an aging body, whose time is nearly gone. And yet the sidealks shall still sparkle...

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 04:52:21 GMT

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) smoked a joint
(x) drank alcohol

( ) crashed a friends car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted

( ) snuck out of my parents house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't return them
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) been to europe
(x) skipped school

( ) been to mexico
(x) been on a plane
(x) seen the rocky horror picture show
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire

( )
eaten sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone in person from the
internet
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x)
miss someone right now

(x) laid on your back and watched the clouds go
by
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x)
built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping

(x) played dress up
(x)
jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a
game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work or school
( ) used a
fake ID
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
( ) touched a
snake
(x) been tickled
() been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x)
petted a goat
(x) won a contest
(x) ran a red light
( ) been suspended
from school
(x) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
(x) felt like an
outcast
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way
you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) been obsessed with
post it notes
(x) squished barefoot in the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been
to the opposite side of the country.
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried myself to
sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with markers,
crayons, or colored pencils
(x) sung karaoke
(x) did something you told
yourself you wouldn't
( ) made prank calls
(x) laughed until some kind of
beverage came out your nose
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x)
danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to santa claus
( ) been kissed
under the mistle toe
(x) watched the sunrise with someone you care
about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a
party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
(x) worn
pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge.
( )
ate cat/dog food
( ) told a stranger you love them
(x) kissed a
mirror
(x) sang in the shower
(x) have a little black dress
(x) had a
dream that you married someone.
(x)
glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck on a flag pole
( )
kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex's clothes
(x) been a
cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your
lungs
(x) done a one handed cart wheel
( ) talked on the phone for more
than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn’t take a shower for a
week
(x) picked an apple right off the tree
(x) had a tree house
(x)
are scared to watch scary movies
(x) believe in ghosts
(x) have more than
30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn an ugly outfit to school just to see what people
say
( ) gone streaking
(x) played ding dong ditch
( ) played
chicken
(x) got pushed in a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told
you're beautiful by a stranger.
( ) broken a
bone
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a
butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(
) mooned someone
(x) had someone moon you
(x) had a britney spears
CD
(x) forgotten someones name
(x) slept naked
(x) french braided
someones hair
( ) grown a beard
( ) belonged to the KKK
(x) went to a
park
(x) done random things in wal-mart
( ) kissed in a pool
( ) skinny
dipped

Back in the City...

Mon, 04 Jul 2005 14:09:28 GMT

Coming back to NY for the summer has been a strange experience thus far. Firstly, because this is my last summer before graduation-a scary thought if I ever heard one. But also strange because the people with whom I am surrounded are entirely composed of Florence people. Thus, at first things are all slightly off kilter and it is a little odd to be sitting in my bedroom watching tv with Jacs and Sarah...because we have never watched tv together. It is like a constant show of doing normal things here with people, who have become some of my closest friends, and yet all of it is new somehow. I can't really explain it. Take for example, last weekend when Jacs and I went to the El Cantinero on University and then to see "Bewitched". So this particular Mexican place is firmly associated in my mind solely with two people-Yoly and Michelle. And to be there with Jacqui is amazing...but still brand new. And to do something so simple as to go see a movie, which with your normal friends is so NOT a big deal, but for us--people who have shared everything with each other--it is new and the usual familiarity of going to the movies with old friends is basically dashed upon the rocks. See, if I go to the movies with Nancy, I know we will get Icees and maybe candy. With Mom it will be a soda and popcorn, with Michelle we would buy our stuff before going to the theater and smuggling it in. I know the locations in theaters all of my friends like to sit, whether or not they like to talk during the movie, or if they like to watch the credits. So you see, these rituals which, here in America, are such an intricate part of daily life, don't exist in Italy-or at least they didn't exist for us. So something so simple as seeing Bewitched with a close friend, becomes something slightly awkward in a way, you have to ask the questions to which one would normally know the answers.. "Do you want anything to eat? Where do you want to sit? etc...etc.." And I find that I am different around them, because the interactions we are used to having don't quite match the interactions NY usually presents. Like the other night, Jacs and I were sitting down trying to do homework, and really not wanting to, and all of a sudden, I am like "Let's take a walk." So we do. Because this is what we are used to doing. I think Jacs and I had done homework together once before in our lives. So trying to sit silently together and work is basically impossible. But walking around a city late at night for no reason-now THAT we are used to. So we did-for a half hour until Sarah called and told us she couldn't do her homework either and did we want late night Ben and jerry's? So anyway, I am rambling. What I am trying to get at, is that living in NY with the Firenze team has put everything slightly off kilter-but only in the very minor details.

I guess maybe I should record a little of what i have been up to. I moved in two weeks ago (although it seems a helluva lot longer than that.) and immediately started working again (so nice to see Jonathan again). And then classes started a week ago. They are interesting--The History of Ancient Greece and The Holocaust. The first I am adoring, the second is slightly unexciting because I've taken another class exactly like it. But it is the only one which will satisfy my majors. I have been spending most of my time with Jacs and Sarah of course, but also see Paul, Char, Johnny, and DiDi on occasion. "The Boys," if you will remember from Firenze, consist of Johnny and Matty and sometimes Paul, although for some reason he tends to get stuck in a separate Paul only category, came to visit us late the other night. I forget just how much I miss them. They are so entirely wrapped up in the whole concept of Florence to me, for some reason, more than the others, that it is weird to have them sitting in my apartment... Perhaps it is because I did a lot of sightseeing with them, or spent the most time just wandering around Florence with them, or seeing Rome... I don't know. I also did that with Char. Maybe it is because I never did boring old daily routine stuff with them, since they didn't entirely live with us. Thus, we never went grocery shopping together or search for random stores together, or did homework together. It was absolutely amazing to see them though.

Paul has been an easier transition. Towards the end of the semester, we had been spending a lot of time with Paul so those daily routines became somewhat associated with him. But also there was the time together in Cincinnati, which makes NY seem like cake. We went to the Gay Pride Parade because Paul was marching in drag. It was amazing. The highlight for me came when Hillary walked by. Like, I knew that the politicians walk in the parade but for some reason it didn't even strike me that she would be there, but then she walked by and waved and I was so excited and taken aback that I cried. This woman is my hero, and having read her biography and autobiography was amazing enough, but to see her in person really moved me. I know that sounds fairly stupid to all of you (except maybe Nancy), but this woman has led the life I have only dreamed of...and she was able to do not because of her family or her connections or wealth, but because of sheer intelligence. Those of you who know me, and REALLY know me, understand how much that concept means to me.

This past weekend, I went to Reading to visit the parents for Dad's birthday. It was good to see them, as always. And Reading has a ridicilous amount of outlet malls, so of course i went shopping...and shopping...and shopping. A list of what I purchased: a wallet, Mac makeup (yay for affordability...sort of), my favorite perfume (Escada, Ibizie Hippie)-which I originally purchased on an amzing sojourn with Nancy to Windsor Canada, five pairs of undies, two bras, a tee shirt, a BEAUTIFUL dress (which shall be worn next weekend for The light in the Piazza and Jon's wedding), and two pairs of pajama pants. All in all, a successful trip.

I got back yesterday into the city, and Jacs and I went to see "Heights", an incredible movie with Glenn Close in it. If it is playing anywhere around you, GO SEE IT. It is so real. I loved it. And this morning, I got up early to wash clothes, and to prepare to go to Wagner park, my most favorite place in the city. I can not wait. Tonight we have a rooftop bbq at Suzy's apartment to watch the fireworks. Should be a good time.

In other news, I have started my list of grad schools to which I plan on applying...
1. Stanford
2. Princeton
3. University of Cincinnati
4. Emory (maybe, because Jacqui's dad could help)
This is terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Nuff said. I do not want to stress myself out this early in the day. Now to the shower. Much love to all.

Songs

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 06:09:43 GMT

So I have just downloaded a client for Livejournal and it may be the highlight of my week. I LOVE it. Which means this entry may be slightly ridiculous
So, because everyone is doing this whole song thing, I guess I shall join in, although i will not tell anyone else to do it, because I don't like the idea of forcing people into things. If they like the idea, then they can do it themselves. So...

6 Current Faves
1. Extreme - More Than Words
2. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
3. Eros Ramazotti - Un'Emozione per Sempre
4. Snoop and Justin Timberlake - Signs
5. Wir Sind Helden - Gekommen um zu bleiben
6. Tennessee Ernie Ford - Sixteen Tons

Yes, I realize that this is a ridiculously strange collection of songs, but they all remind me of something...and since I am hideously bored, I shall record here, why I love them.

1. More than Words--sitting on the Ponte Vecchio or on the Huge Concrete Table on campus, this song was everywhere in florence the last couple of days. I just kept running into it. First, the amazing night directly after La Giostra and then later from Andrew with his guitar.
2. Wish You Were Here--Similar reasons, but an even more concrete memory. At the beginning of last semester, school held a fundraising talent show for the tsunami victims-this was one of the songs they performed--and it meant so much because we had been gone from home for about a month and were missing people at home...but now it reminds me of sitting in the dark Blue Room in Villa Natalia with Mel on my left and Johnny on my right, slightly tipsy because we figured a school talent show would be more fun with a couple bottles of wine, and stroking Johnny's arm or rubbing his shoulders because he put his arm in my lap and said, tickle it?
3. Un'Emozione per Sempre--This was actually a song we listened to in Italian class. Our teacher-Catarina, whom I miss-would play popular Italian songs and give us a page with most of the lyrics on it...we had to listen to the song and fill in the random words which were missing, and then we had to listen to the song again and sing with it, to make our mouth say italian words together quickly. It, naturally, was my most favorite activity in Italian class.
4. Signs--I adore this song. The first time I heard it was sitting in the Florence Sports Bar with Maggie, Paul, and Jan (pronounced Yon-as in a Swedish John), surrounded by lots of tvs playing MTV Europe, eatting burgers, fries, and beer. Although it is slightly off, because they think burgers and fries should GO TOGETHER, so the fries come on the burger, in between the cheese and the ketchup (was strange at the time, but now I would die for one...). And the song came on, and we were all like, "Whoa, Snoop and JT together...a little strange..." and then, "WHOA is that Snoop actually singing?! And sounding GOOD? Oh my gosh!!" And then I forgot about it completely until I came home and was driving somewhere with my brother and he played this song--and I had an intense flashback to Florence, and decided I needed to download it immediately.
5. Gekommen um zu bleiben--Paul, Charlene, and I went to Hamburg and the first night, Char fell immediately asleep, but Paul and I laid awake for a long time watching MTV Europe (but German styles this time) and they kept playing this AMAZING German bad, Wir Sind Helden (Which Paul has lovingly translated for me as "We are Helden"). This video is sooo funny, because there is this main girl, dressed 40s style and then she has these 4 male band members who dance around in the background and look somewhat ridiculous. The rest of the long weekend we kept finding them everywhere-they are hugely popular in Germany. paul was determined to buy the album before he left, but then he forgot. I believe he bought one on his next trip there. I on the other hand, downloaded mine illegally from the internet. Shocking.
6. Sixteen Tons-- Inspired by that fun GE commercial with all the hot coalminers, I have taken a liking to Tennessee Ernie Ford and downloaded a bunch of his music, most of which is religious, but I ADORE this one. Sorry this doesn't really have much story behind it...

So it would appear that the theme of these songs relates to me being abroad, really it is more the people...I am missing them hardcore right now. The next few days should be amazing though, Paul and I are getting together a couple times. Can't wait to see him...and soon it'll be back to NYC to see all sorts of them-Matty, Johnny, Jacqui, Char, Teeny, Mel, and Sarah. I absolutely can not wait. Speaking of these people, I need to give Maggie a call soon.

Oh my gosh, they have quixotic as one of the LJ moods-that is amazing. For all you Facebook "Not To Be Pretentious" people, please note Maggie and I will try to work on updating the word soon, but she has been in Morocco, etc. And we will have to do the conferencing long distance. Is not gonna be easy, especially while she is on Mount Kilamanjaro.

In other news, apparently we are doing another get together at my house this saturday at 7. Should be fun. Can't wait to see you there!

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.

Thu, 12 May 2005 14:10:35 GMT

So, am finally back in the States. Coming home has been a ridiculously weird experience for me. And things just keep getting stranger. I flew into New York on Saturday night and Michelle met me at the airport. That night we went out for my first legal drink in America, which was Sangria...yummmm. Then came home early, spent some quality time with the group upstairs-John's room. It was so strange to be around them. Strange and refreshing. You know you get into a drunken rut, where when you drink with the same group of people all the time, you forget that there are other types of drunkeness? So i return to the old friend group and enter complete and utter mass chaos-filth, flying objects, and art. I didn't realize how much I had missed John. Went to bed early that night, completely exhausted from 20 hours of flying and the past 2 weeks-well the past four months, but mostly the past two weeks...here's a rundown.

Saturday, April 30-Pretty, Pretty Paul's Blowout Party
So this party had been planned a month in advance, it's theme: pantsless/shirtless. It was Paul's 20th birthday and our last weekend in Italy. Sarah, Maggie, and I had promised to make him some Phil Collin's on Acid-the drink the four of us had created a couple months earlier. It contained: Blue Curacao, Lemoncello (uber popular in Italy, is this ridiculously strong lemon after dinner drink), vodka, and lemon sherbert. It is pretty good, except for the sugar and the fact that besides the icecream everything in it is alcohol. So we three arrive early to make the concoction and find Paul, Jon Harris, Wesley, and Mark already drunk, each holding their own bottle of liquor and pantsless. Soon everyone else starts wandering in, in their underwear and the drinking commences. The party quickly escalates into madness. Since it would be impossible to fully document the madness here, I am only going to include the craziest parts. Flash to Paul's room where a minor party has gathered. Enter Paul, by now wearing only his boxers, socks and party hat-complaining that he is sticky because someone spilled wine all over him. Charlene and I try to help by licking him-Valerio (random Italian boy) joins in. In repayment for helping his stickiness, Paul shows us his penis twenty times in a row-only stopping when someone reached for their camera. **Please note: Paul is amazing. he is so incredibly serious and intelligent sometimes-editor and journalist for the Washington Square News, favorite of President John Sexton--but absolutely ridiculous when drunk**
Flash to me running out of the room to find more wine, when I am accosted by our onetime, absolutely awful waiter from ZaZa five weeks early, who introduces himself as Brazilian and then proceeds to stick his tongue down my throat. Eww. I, clearly, am distraught about this, and manage to escape him, only to find that he has followed me. I make a beeline for Johnny and explain to him that I have a creepy guy problem and he decides to do something about it and asks me to take him to the Brazilian, and I start to, but we both det distracted on the way and forget about the problem.
Flash to Maggie, her visiting friend Hannah, and the Brazilians leaving together to go to a bar.
Flash to Sarah, Melissa, Jacqui, DiDi, Nicole, Justine and I congregating by the window with our personal stowed bottles of wine. Jen: "Sarah, piu vino, per favore?" Sarah: "I don't think you should have anymore." Jen: "Ok." **Please note, this is an indication of just how drunk I was, normally I would have been offended at
A. someone measuring my drunkeness, and
B. refusing me alcohol.
However in this instance, I didn't even mind. ** Begin the makeout party. Sarah tries to make out with me, but I laugh hysterically and claim that I am too drunk to make out with roommates. Then everyone starts making out everywhere...
INSERT 45 MINUTE BLOCK IN WHICH I REMEMBER NOTHING UNTIL THE NEXT DAY WHEN I AM REMINDED
Flash to Matty leaning out the window and me approaching him to find out if he is ok. He says he is not feeling well. I tell him I am taking him home-I just have to find my shirt. I go to Paul's bedroom to locate my clothing, and grab my cardigan and meet Matty at the door and we walk to his apartment together, while he expresses his love for me and repeatedly tells me not to let him go to bed without showering. **Please note, at this point, one would seem to think that I am the sober friend leading my drunken amico home, but this would be a mistake.**
Flash to Matty giving me one of his shirts to wear and then showering, while I undress-quickly realizing that
A. I did not have ALL of my clothing, and
B. I had forgotten to actually button the cardigan, meaning that I had walked the 4 blocks home in only my pink lace bra. Thank God Matty was with me.
Flash to Matty finishing showering and passing out in bed, and me entering the steamy bathroom and throwing up for the next two hours. Meanwhile, Johnny and all of my roommates arrive searching for me and Matty, because we failed to mention ot anyone that we were leaving-or that the new plan of the night was for Johnny to go to my home and sleep in my bed and I would sleep in his. However, this message was never actually communicated to anyone and thus Johnny arrived thinking of giving me to my roommates and sleeping in his own apartment. I was too sick to go home, so I tell my roommates to leave, I was staying with the boys. I re-enter the bedroom to find Johnny attempting to sleep on the floor, and, in trying to step over him to get to his bed, accidentally step on him and have a minor argument about who is sleeping on the floor. He wins by telling me to shut up and get in bed, which i do. Flash to the next afternoon, we all wake up and review what had happened the night before. With still very significant parts missing (to be discussed later). Johnny convinces me to take a shower to try to feel better, because I am clearly the most hungover and sick of the group. Then, We all want food, so we do the McDonald's hangover trip. It is amazing how good mcdonald's makes your incredibly unsettled stomach feel... I gather up my sad amount of clothes, give Matty his shirt back, which i have thrown up on, and head back to my own apartment. Talk about a walk of shame...wearing a wine stained skirt and smelly cardigan, stumbling from the intense headache. I finally make it to my own apartment where everyone has gathered to review the events of the night before. Paul calls and says he is coming too. We all sit, and I in exasperation, say to Paul, "Damnit, we forgot to eat our icecream!" **Please note, we had bought the icecream together about two months earlier and kept forgetting to eat it.** Sarah, "Jen, no you didn't. Don't you remember getting the icecream out?" Vaguely, I begin to remember. Me: "uhhhhh..." Sarah, "We had to move a couple making out off of the fridge so we could get it out, and then you went arounf feeding it to people with your spoon. You kept going up to people and being like, 'Cookies and Cream?' and then shoving a spoonful in there mouth whether they wanted it or not..." So I definitely start to remember this now, and Paul is laughing hysterically at me. And then Sarah: "And she definitely put a spoonful down your pants, Paul!" SO FUNNY. So this comprised most of the 45 minutes or so that I was missing. And then I tell Sarah, remember when we tried to make out but I kept laughing because you were a girl?" At which point, Mel says, "yeah Jen, remember when WE made out?" And I was like, WHAT? Apparently during the point in which everyone was making out, I said something along the lines of, 'I feel left out, everyone is making out but me' and so Mel grabbed me and kissed me, at which point I started screaming, "Incest! What is happening? This is Crazy, INCEST." Because it is wrong for roommates to make out with each other.
Enter Maggie, who tells me that her visiting friend Hannah had gone home with the Brazilian who molested me and slept with him. A fact which I still find SOOO funny. Who would have ever thought that This AWFUL waiter we had one time, would have made out with me and slept with maggie's random friend Hannah? SO weird.
The whole night was absolutely amazingly ridiculous. Just incredible. Loved it

Sunday, May 1 La Giostra
So La Giostra is this ridiculously nice restaurant in Florence, super famous, super nice. It was started by the Hapsburg royal family after WWI when their empire was dismantled. The prince is the chef and makes delicious food. So a group of us had been wanting to go there for so long, and we finally just did it. Matty, Char, Gabby, Mel, Johnny and I went together and had this absolutely amazing meal. Their specialty is Pear ravioli with goatscheese. Johnny got that and I got a different type of ravioli and we shared. And then had a delicious steak. Afterwards, none of us were ready to go home, so we walked by the Duomo and Baptistery and took a few funny (and slightly disrespectful) pictures. And then headed to Piazza Republica where we actually danced to the streetperformer's music. And rode the Carousel together. From there, we walked to the Ponte Vecchio and listened to guitar player and recounted our favorite things from the past four months. It was absolutely amazing. Just an incredible night-easily one of my favorites. Maybe even more amazing because we were all sober. Finally we head home where we found everyone else at our apartment preparing to watch a movie, i quickly went to bed however, because I was still feeling the hangover from the party the night before.

Sorry this is hideously long, but I am feeling sentimental, and remembering the last few weeks in Italy reminds me just how amazingly lucky I was to have this experience and to meet these absolutely incredible people.

Wednesday,May 4
After class we sit outside on the huge concrete table in the sun (PS. Italy, thank you for the absolutely amazing weather you gave us the entire semester, but most especially for the last week.) Paul and I discuss the prospect of going to Tijuana one last time and begin calling around to see who all is interested. We end up with a goodsized group and have to squish to make us all fit at the table. I end up, as usual, between Johnny and Paul-two of the people in the group who make me SOOO happy-love them both very dearly. Have a delicious dinner and then Paul, slightly tipsy from the best Sangria EVER, says he wants to go to Ari's for a milkshake. Ari's is this American style diner in the middle of Florence -EM GO HERE, it is will be comfort food when pasta makes you want to puke-so we gather a few people to go with and i force jacqui and her boytoy Andrew (who I adore for playing guitar for us everyday outside after class) to come with so she can walk home with me. We have our milkshakes and then head out and jacqui and andrew were not ready to say goodbye to each other, so Paul says he will walk me home, even though it was 45 minutes out of his way. It was a nice walk though, I absolutely adore Paul, and miss him horribly. I can't wait for everyone in Cincinnati to meet him in June. We have plans to go to Skyline and to the drivein together.

Friday, May 6
Our last day in Florence, a horribly sad day. We had plans to go to our favorite restaurant, Acqua Al due. We showed up and I sat between Matty and Johnny, a sad seat, because Johnny was drunk and emotional and Matty delivered a horribly sentimental and emotional toast. So basically I cried five times during dinner. The whole last week felt like the last week of highschool, everything is ending, people are going their separate ways and it was time to say goodbye. A bunch of us had brought mementos to give each other. I had our only good group picture of us developed for everyone, and Charlene and Jacqui wrote us all notes and Matty gave us his toast. Which was absolutely amazing. He had written it the night before-two full pages about how amazing this group had been, about how we loved the sites, we loved the food, we loved the travel, but more than anything in Italy we had loved each other. Something so true, although ridiculously cheesy. Afterwards, we headed to our apartment where the guard had made himself scarce so we could celebrate properly. Thank you guard. We opened the huge bottle of wine and then finally the boys had to go and it was actually time for a final goodbye. Saying goodbye to Johnny and Matty were some of the roughest goodbyes there were. Johnny and I just hugged for ten minutes straight while people discussed their plans for the next few weeks, and Matty and I kissed goodbye over 'I love you's. It was pretty rough. These boys, especially, were lights for me when I was sad, when I couldn't stand the intense amount of estrogen in the apartment, when I needed a hug, when I needed a smile. Next came Paul, who was easiest to say goodbye to, knowing i would see him in only two weeks in good old Cincy. Throughout the night, various people had to leave to catch their planes and each time we would stop our packing/reading/napping to say yet another tearful goodbye. First came Mel and Jacqui at 4:30, then Char at 6:30, then Alexis at 7. Then me and Teeny at 8. Saying goodbye to Sarah and Mags was hard, especially since i wouldn't see Maggie again till September. And then we headed to the airport where we waited forever and had our first flight to Rome. Luckily Teeny and I could sit together. While running to make our connection in the Rome airport we ran into Gabby and Matty, headed for Greece, and said yet another goodbye. And then straight on to NYC, where Michelle was waiting for me, and then Dad came to pick me up the next day.

And I have been in Philly ever since, visiting Michelle and Dad. And now we leave in two hours to come to Cincinnati. Exciting. Although loads of other crazy stuff going on-my parents are thinking about selling the house and mom would move up here to PA to be with Dad...which has so many other implications for me that it is frightening to think about. But I am not gonna go there yet...
Anyway, can't wait to see you all, Much love.

oh dear, oh dear

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 08:00:36 GMT

Ok, so last night was fucking psychotic, and I loved it. Where oh where do I start? Oh yes, with my birthday package from my parents, which contained a can of Skyline Chili... My fellow Cincinnatian, Paul, and I set a date for last night to make 3 ways. And then we decided to go ahead and make it a group dinner with stir fry for everyone else. I was the cook. Trying to cook stir fry and Spaghetti and skyline for 20 people with 4 burners and an inadequate supply of electricity: not easy, but add in a screwdriver and red wine, and it is LOADS of fun.

The guestlist included: Charlene, Justine, Gabs, Mags, Sarah, Abby, Mary, Johnny, Matty, Pretty pretty Paul, Jon Harris (who brought me a kitkat and then ate most of it-LOVE him.), Jacqui, Alexis, Nicole, Margarite, and Bridget(who is a vegetarian.) and myself.

The night started with me cutting all kinds of stuff, including bananas, which Maggie taught us to open by holding it pointing towards you and flinging it downward. So of course Paul tries to double banana and fails miserably. Yes, the banana opening definitely set the pace for the night... And then the cooking commenced and was somewhere between annoying and hilarious with the electricity going off every five seconds and Paul and I taking pictures of ourselves salivating over the cans of Skyline.

Once the food was finally ready around 9, we sat down to eat and it was good. The Skyline, the taste that most represents home to me, did make me a little sad at first. I have to admit that the first few bites actually brought baby tears to my eyes as an intense wave of homesickness hit me. But Johnny quickly brought me back, by turning to me and yelling, "CHUG!" and the second glass of wine was suddenly gone. Next came the fruit, more wine, and KINGS! I think. Nicole, who is a mad genius, came up with the rule that no one could point (which is the hardest fucking thing I have ever had to do in my life.), Jon instituted the little man rule, and Gabs came up with another one I can't remember. Kings has become such an integral part of life here that we actually have a laminated "Kings House Rules" list and a dry erase marker to use to make temporary alterations.

One of these alterations was the conversion of Jack back into Jack Zack Morris Attack. In which the jack draw-er must summarize an entire episode of "Saved By the Bell" accurately, to be judged by the Questionmaster. If he does so correctly, then everyone else at the table must drink, if he is unable to do so, he must drink. I LOVE it. Also instituted was Questions in place of Truth or Dare. In which the first person who speaks without using a question must drink. The best was when Gabs asked Johnny, "Do you like boys or girls?" and he couldn't come up with anything. SO funny.

So after the first game, we had run out of liquor-well mostly run out of liquor. We still had Rum, Vodka, and Tequila in the freezer, but we had run out of wine. And surprisingly I was only tipsy at this point, but then while we were all sitting around the table, Johnny, directly across from me, says "Jen, meet me under the table." So down we go, and he pulls out an unopened bottle of wine. "I stole it for us. Let's go drink it in your room." So we run away, only to find other people in my room, so we head for the terrace. Johnny, breaks the fucking bottle neck while pulling the cork out, and we then proceed to discuss how the two of us, who normally drink once every two weeks tops, have become alcoholics. Johnny who is completely hammered by this time, then proceeds to tell me about his alcholic grandmother who died 3 years ago and all of a sudden I hear a splash and we both look over the railing, and Johnny is like, "My wine is gone..." The dumbass had forgotten he had a cup in his hand and continues talking and gesturing and pours his glass of wine over the railing onto our RAs patio. Who then walks outside and tells us to quiet the fuck down, it is past national quiet hours, and we are going to have the cops called on our asses by the Italian neighbors if we didn't keep it down. So we refill Johnny's glass and in the process, he spills wine completely down my shirt. Luckily, I was drunk and didn't care, but literally had wine on me from my neck down to my waist.

We finishthe bottle and Gabby announces that it is time to go. So she takes Jon Harris, Sarah, and Matty (who I would just like to express my undying love for...), and leaves and stands downstairs and ring the doorbell to make Johnny and Paul come quicker. But by this time, Johnny has disappeared into another apartment altogether, Charlene was missing, so I respond to the buzzer by saying repeatedly, "They are not fucking coming. Stop ringing the bell. You know I hate it." So Paul and I decide to cuddle on my bed and look at my pictures and a gay porn magazine that Justine had bought. And we end up laughing hilariously at the best picture of Paul ever, frollicking (literally) in the green hills of campus. It is SO funny. Finally, Johnny reappears and begins trying to make out with everyone. I am laying on my fucking bed with Paul, and he walks in the door, puts his hand IN MY SHIRT on my freaking breast, kisses me, and then moves on to every other female in the room. So I have seen him be a really drunk whore before, but this was the worst. It was SO NOT PRETTY, and yet hilarious. So Nicole, Bridget, and margarite leave and Paul and I finish our pictures. They eventually leave and Maggie and I go in to her room to look at Sarah's pictures. And soon I find Sarah's camera and begin to make movies, until I realize that I had not been recording any of the movies I was making. So I finally start to ACTUALLY make a movie and Sarah and Gabby come home early and foil my film making genius.

And then, I think, I went to bed. Although after leaving their room, I have no memory of what happened.
And true to form, after a night of too much wine, I woke up this morning at 7am, after a mere 4 hours of sleep, completely refreshed and in a GREAT mood, albeit still slightly drunk.

OH! I talked to people online, that is what I did. Although who exactly it was I can not be sure about. i definitely talked to Michelle. But who else? hmmmm. Perhaps I will find out today when people inform me of what I did/said.

Anyway, it was a beautiful night with the Skyline and the drunkeness. Now we have The Cleanup to think about. My desk has been moved into the dining room to eat on, There are wine bottles in the MOST random locations. Like Johnny and I left our bottle from the terrace in between the bathroom window and its shutter...? And last night, all the undressing I managed to do was taking my pants off. Which means that right now I am STILL wearing the wine stained shirt and my entire front is STILL sticky. Ewwww. So off to the shower with me.

I am hoping to give a real update of my Spring Break soon. The problem with the updating is that I am keeping a print journal here and i write everything in there and then don't want to actually a post anything. We will see. Tomorrow I have a HUGE project due that I have done some of the research for--enough to know that I am going to have a lot of trouble doing the project--but have not actually started. So, I shall worry about that tonight. Right now, I need to switch my clothes to the dryer downstairs, take a shower and get the wine off of me, and then get ready to go meet everyone for lunch to recount how hideously drunk some of us were. YAY. And then to the bothersome things called classes. In which I will get a midterm back-eww. Yesterday, I got my Gender and Family midterm back: A- for that piece of shit I turned in. I LOVE Italy. Much love to EVERYONE!

YAY SPRING BREAK

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 20:55:02 GMT

So this past week was Spring Break and I went to the Cinque Terre, Rome, Naples, and Pompeii. Early Sunday I took a train to the Cinque Terre and took my bags to the hostel and then sat in the sun for a few hours and read "Song of Solomon" b y Toni Morrison. It was qwuite good. But I got a bit sunburnt and am now peeling and itchy. Eww. The next day I did the exact same thing, except my fellow hostellers and I went to the grocery and bought Cinque Terre Wine and a smapling of cheeses. It was very good. Ok, this entry I am afraid is unable to sustain my interest. For now, I wioll just say the Cinque Terre is beautiful! And Rome is my favorite city still. LA

Birthday: Night 1

Fri, 04 Mar 2005 08:06:24 GMT

Well, last night started the official kick off of the "Jen's 21st Birthday Extravaganza" celebration. It was an interesting night. Highlights of the night included a rousing game of Kings, a birthday striptease/lapdance from Matty, and psychoanalysis for everyone by Charlene. Pretty Pretty Paul, Alby, Johnny, Matty, Gabby, Jacqui, Justine, Charlene, Mel, Sarah, Maggie, and I started drinking around 8 at dinner. It was a nice group. True to form, halfway through, I was drunk already, and we took a break from the festivities to make Sangria, wash dishes, and let the girls get ready to go out. So I get bored (For those of you who don't know me drunk--which would be most of you--I can not be left to my own devices or I quickly go from a fun, happy drunk to a bored and depressed drunk.), and decide to read my email. And I got an email from Nancy, so that made me sad and made me think about the beautifulness that was my 20th birthday in New York with Em and Nancy and my New York crowd. And then Charlene played R. Kelly's "Hotel," because she knows that I love it. But she didn't realize WHY I love it, which is because it reminds me of Potts. So then between the email, the song, and the alcohol I get a little tearyeyed, which would have been ok and it would have passed, but then Charlene NOTICED that I was upset and TALKED about it, and so I start forreal crying. So Charlene called the 'boys' in to perk me up with the first of several lap dances of last night. Thank God for Matty. He made the night for me last night, he really did. Anyway, the boredom ended with a call to the dining room table for a round of Kings with the now-ready Sangria, which tasted AWFUL, but did the trick I guess. The rules, as usual, involved Maggie's boobs and Johnny being a whore. However the highlight of the evening came when Matty got truth or dare and chose Dare. He was told to give me a lapdance. And he did. It was hilarious. We stopped him at his underwear, thank goodness. Because there were so many pictures being taken and someone had an actual videocamera out. It was so funny. I am dying laughing right now just thinking about it. After Kings, Gabby and Johnny decided they were ready to go out. So they went ahead with Paul and Albi, while the rest of us were supposed to catch up a little later. But then Matty and I had a heart to heart and then took a nap on the couch together, while Jacqui and Justine continued drinking in the dining room and Charlene lectured Maggie on her inability to display emotion. Eventually, Matty and Charlene decided to go out, and the rest of us decided not to, but then they both fell asleep on Gabby's bed while putting their coats on. So Sarah, Maggie, Jacqui and I listened to the ridiculousness of drunk Justine, who soon took a turn for sick and vomiting Justine. Then Sarah and I had to put Charlene to bed, who woke up long enough to walk to our bedroom and giggle as we took off her boots, belt, and earrings. Next came Matty, who had been determined to walk to his apartment 15 minutes away and go to sleep in his own bed, but once he fell asleep, we decided to keep him with us. So we got him out of his shoes, coat, and belt and put him to bed. And then I went to bed myself, but wasn't tired. By this time I had sobered up completely and was wide awake, so I wrote in my journal on the night's festivities and finally fell asleep late.

Here are pictures from the night, including a few scandalous striptease pictures:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jebady16/album?.dir=b5af&.src=ph

This morning, I woke up with an awful hangover. The first one of the semester, amazingly. Probably because this is only the second night we've had hard liquor. Usually we are awful winos, and wine never gives me a hangover. So I got up at 7 to get tylenol and water and then just stayed up and have been hideously productive, while everyone else sleeps it off. I managed to clean up all signs of the party and do the dishes from last night and do two loads of laundry. Impressive. Not bad to have all this done by 10am. And so for today, I have relatively few plans. One group is going tanning/waxing but I am poor right now, so I will not be doing so. Later there is supposed to be a Desperate Housewives Marathon, which I may join in on at some point. I think the plan shall be to get one load out of the dryer at 10, get in the shower, get ready to go, get the next load out of the dryer at 11, and then head to Vodafone-Italy's main cell phone service--to put money on the phone, since it is completely out right now, damnit. And then maybe head down to the Duomo and and Battisteria. Neither of which have I actually been inside of yet, ridiculous as that is. And then stop for stamps for postcards, and see what I feel like after that. Tonight is the official birthday celebration. We are all going to a restaurant on the altr'Arno, the other side of the river, called Club Paradiso, where everyone pays 15 Euro for all you can drink wine and your meal. YUM. And then heading back here to finish off the alcohol, and then who knows, maybe out? I have a feeling that tonight could be WAY crazy. Last night Matty and I promised each other we would make out tonight, although this morning the reason for this completely escapes me. My goal is to keep it only to him. HA. Anyway, I know I've said it before, but I love it here. And I am so, So, SO thankful for the friends I have made here. I have come to love them so much, and we have gotten so close in such a short period of time. It truly amazes me. I must say that if I have been lucky in my life, it has been in the area of friends. Love and miss you all.

Some seriousness...

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 22:11:42 GMT

I have been in Italy for over a month and a half now. i can not believe how quickly it is passing. It hasn't taken long to form some tight bonds with my friends here. i am somewhat amazed how close we have all become in such a short amount of time. And often we talk about what it will be like to return to New York. It is funny that NYU is the one thing we all have in common, but the thought of being there together is slightly odd for all of us. We are constantly reassuring each other that we will not return home and forget each other, or simply go back to our normal lives, because everyone is secretly afraid of that. I have never had so much fun in college. And we all often say that the atmosphere of our Florentine lives remind us of highschool-the campus is so small and the people here so few in comparison that we run into each other everywhere, and everyone knows everyone else. It is a strange experience after the total anonymity of NYU. It is even more strange to be the senior member of the group. Somehow I have become the 'old' one. I have one semester of college left and now that the end is almost near I have no fucking idea where it all went and how it could have gone by so fast. Two semesters ago i decided to graduate early because i was tired of the paper writing and the thought of saving ten thousand dollars was a little more than tempting, but now I am dreading it. And especially because so many of these new friends are sophomores right now, and I am jealous of how long they have left.
I am so scared for the end of it all: the end of Florence (I have come to love this country so much more than I ever thought possible, and I will be quite heartbroken when the time comes to return to America), the end of college, the end of friendships, the end of childhood. What am I going to do with myself? What happens in December(dear lord, in only 9 months...)when they give me my diploma and I try to decide what exactly happens now? I never thought I wanted to stay in New York after graduation, but the closer that the possibility of leaving it looms, the more and more I consider staying there. Next semester feels like the summer after senior year of high school. It was so bittersweet. We had worked so hard to get to the end of it all, but we rarely stopped to think of exactly what it would mean. And certainly I have adjusted to constant goodbyes and short visits on holidays, but even these are growing more and more rare, and at the end of college, we NYUers will have nothing to hold us together. Our homes are scattered throughout the country, we will not be returning to New York every Christmas and summer to visit family. If we want to see each other we will have to make special arrangements.
In nine months I need to make a decision. Grad school? Could I really be a professor? i never thought I could, but the more I think about it, the more I am tempted. I have found something I am definitely passionate about, but pursuing just one thing forces me to give up so many other dreams. So perhaps, law school? But do I really want to give up my life to pursue something I may love or may hate? Do i want to be a lawyer because of the salary or the actual job. I think I know the answer. Social work? More and more I have begun to consider the idea of some sort of social work. I honestly believe our country is moving backwards and I have become quite passionate about helping to reverse it. But am I willing to put up with the frustration? Or would I rather just abandon the country all together and let them lie in the bed they make...
I will be 21 in less than a week, and it strikes me how ironic it is that a decade ago as Emily and I had sleepover after sleepover, all we could do was wish for this very day. And now I feel like it has all gone by so quickly, and I wish I had known to cherish those moments more while i was living them.
I guess the point of all this is that you live and you learn. because I have truly cherished every moment spent here. Or at least, I am able to remind myself of how quickly this will be over when I am annoyed by one little thing or another. When the director of the program told us that there was a very real possibility that we would leave this continent as completely different people, I didn't honestly believe him. But it all makes sense now. Something about this experience has made me reflect on myself, my world, my past. Yet all this reflection has led me nowhere quick, except to realize how very much I don't want it to end.

So now what? I guess I will try to push it all from my mind for now and prepare for the rest of the semester. Tomorrow morning I leave for Ravenna, "the most beautiful place in the world," according to my Latin teacher. Over Spring break I will be traveling down the western coast of italy, starting at genoa and then going down through the Cinque Terre, Sardinia, Rome, and Naples. Yes, this will be my third visit to Rome, but I have come to love that city so much I have no problem going back. The first visit was with nancy. the second visit was just last weekend with Johnny, Matty, and Pretty Pretty Paul, three of my new boys. I absolutely adore them. Pretty pretty Paul is from Cincinnati, so perhaps you can all meet him at some point. It was a wonderful trip. I feel like i have found a great relief in Johnny. In new York i am constantly surrounded by my fellow latin/linguistic people and here I have found a complete dirth of these sort of people. And Johnny is one. Although he doesn't know Latin, he is fascinated by it and Roman history and it gives me someone to share my excitement with. It is difficult to be in this country after having spent all of college learning about it and then coming here without people who 'get it'. Anyway, I went to Rome on a class trip, and Johnny and Matty called as I was getting ready to head back to Florence and asked me to stay and be their tour guide and stay with them in their hostel where they happened to have a big bed and a little bed for the two of them. So I did. And it was wonderful all over again and I absolutely love that city. Maybe I could teach at the American Academy of Classics there someday... Not to get too ahead of myself or anything. Anyway, I am very excited to see the other, more relaxed side of Italy on Spring break too. i plan to do a lot of walking on the beach and just wandering around places. Some of the time I will be on my own, which will be nice. I am meeting Mel in Rome (who specifically asked that I change my spring break plans so I could meet her there and be her tour guide.), and I think Josh and maybe Johnny will be coming to Genoa with me. But the rest of the week I will be on my own. I am glad I will be on my own in Pompeii and herculaneum, because it is annoying to have to play tour guide when you've never even been there yourself. We tend to do everything here in mass groups, which is fun because I have become very good friends with all the people in the group, but it is sometimes inconvenient and annoying. It'll be nice to do small towns like the Cinque terre and sardinia on my own where i won't have to worry about keeping rtack of everyone or finding a place where they can sit all of us together.
Anyway, the week after spring break is easter weekend and pretty much my last weekend to do some real traveling. I have field trips every weekend in April and will be limited only to day trips. One of the field trips is to the Chianti for my gardens and landscapes class. I am super excited. My teacher is a lot of fun and she has booked a wine tasting for all of us. I LOVE wine tastings. this could be because I love wine, but also because it is super interesting. Anyway, a wine tasting in chianti-how awesome is that?
Ok, the time has come to think about going to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow to catch my train to Ravenna. Miss and Love you all.